Book 5- "The Austere Academy" by Lemony Snicket

This one was one of my favorites. Not only is "austere" a word I can use more often than a lot of the words I've learned from this book, but there is SO much to hate and love here!

Vice Principal Nero (pictured on the cover) is one of the most irritating people I've ever met (read). In many ways he shadows Count Olaf, but in a non-murderous sort of way. He is arrogant, cruel to the students at his school, and severely underestimates the Baudelaires. When they arrive, he tells them that they cannot live in the dormitories because they didn't have a guardian sign their permission slip. Because they don't have a guardian... but that doesn't matter. So they are sent off to live in the nicknamed "Orphan Shack". It has crabs, mold, and awful wallpaper. If they are late for meals (which are served at breakfasttime, lunchtime and dinnertime), they don't get any cups for their drinks. If they enter the office building, they don't get silverware. And since Sunny is too young for any of the classes, she is employed as Principal Nero's secretary. Which is as ridiculous as it sounds. So she doesn't get silverware for any of her meals. Now, as the parent of a toddler I know she will be just fine.

The part of the book that I love is that they make friends finally! They meet two triplets (the third died in a fire), who just so happen to also be orphans, named Duncan and Isadora. They are the heirs to the Quagmire sapphire fortune. Duncan wants to be a reporter, and Isadora a poet. They both have notebooks that they carry around to take notes in. The Baudelaires trust them and tell them about their troubles. Just then, a new gym teacher shows up. Yep, Olaf. He has the children start running laps all. night. long. For about 10 nights straight. The children are exhausted, but Vice Principal Nero won't do anything about it. They finally have to pass a comprehensive exam (and make their own staples, in Sunny's case) or fail out. Luckily for them, their gym teacher will take them in if they get kicked out. Ohhhhh dear. Duncan and Isadora offer to go in their place, using Violet's hair ribbon and Klaus' glasses. They bring a bag of flour along for Sunny. The Baudelaires are able to prepare all night, and pass their tests. Just as they think everything is going well for once, Coach Genghis (Olaf) shows up announcing that they cheated by having someone else run in their place. They see his accomplices (who were well hidden this time, so I can't blame them for not seeing it) loading Duncan and Isadora into a car, and they chase them just for Olaf and his henchmen to escape. It is so hard for the children to realize they lost the first friends they have made in a long time. Luckily Mr. Poe was there, right? (eye roll)