"Educated" by Tara Westover

I have heard about this book for years. When I finally requested it on audiobook, the wait list was about 6 months long. I was so glad to finally get it! And HOLY COW it did not disappoint.

Tara was the youngest girl in a family of doomsday preppers. They went to an LDS church in Southeastern Idaho, but her dad was beyond fundamentalist. The first part of the book talked about the time that her dad read about the dangers of too much milk. He then took it upon himself to tell everyone in their ward that milk was bad for them and they shouldn't purchase any more dairy products. He even told this to a dairy farmer in their ward!

Throughout Tara's childhood, her dad became more paranoid. He began ranting about the Illuminati, and began cutting off his family from the outside world. When the Ruby Ridge siege happened, her dad went nuts. He began buying guns and ammunition by the crateful, and made his family prep food all summer to be ready for the winter. He even began making a bunker for the end of the world. He talked about how they would be ready for the Apocalypse, and wouldn't let the government get them like they had gotten the Weaver family.

They refused to send the children to public school, because the schools were brainwashing children into following the Illuminati. They also didn't take their children to see doctors or vaccinate them, because they thought that doctors were brainwashed into following the Illuminati. Some of Tara's older brothers go to college, and she decides that she wants to go. The only problem is that she doesn't even have a high school diploma. But she does well enough on the ACT to get accepted to BYU. When she first meets her roommates, she is shocked that they wear tank tops and pants with words across the butt. She is even more shocked when they talk about going to church in the morning. She doesn't understand things like hygiene (she doesn't wash her hands after going to the bathroom or shower often), washing dishes, or cleaning up after herself in general. She moves across campus after that first semester, and meets new roommates and tries to rebrand herself.

When she goes home, she has some awful encounters with her family. Her older brother, "Sean", is a horribly abusive person. He broke her wrist at one point. Since she is a girl, nobody will take her side over his. They think she needs to just be more submissive and listen to him, or it wouldn't happen. Every time she comes home, her brother and dad try to beat the "worldliness" out of her. There are also some accidents in the junk yard her dad owns. One brother is badly burned when his gasoline-soaked jeans catch on fire, Sean suffers multiple falls that should have killed him, and each time they call Tara back to tell her to say goodbye. But this family KEEPS PULLING THROUGH. How on Earth...

While at BYU, she begins thinking about graduate school. She has a great team of supportive professors, that help her get into Cambridge for a graduate program. Getting a passport proves to be difficult, but she does it. She also finally gets vaccinated. Meanwhile, her dad has a horrible accident where his face is burned beyond recognition. Even her mom thinks he should go to the hospital, but he says he would rather die than go. So she treats him with essential oils, and again he recovers. I mean, really. So they take this as a sign that the oils are better than medicine, and begin running a cult-like business out of their house.

Tara finally confronts her family about Sean's abuse. He is married at this point, and locks his wife out of their trailer with no shoes on in the ice and snow. (I know how cold that must have been, after living in Idaho for years.) His wife had a baby early, who ALSO miraculously survives. She should have been brought to the hospital, but Tara's mom convinces her not to go. He needs to be on oxygen for a long time. Initially, Tara's sister agrees with her. She says that Sean abused her as well. But when she talks to her dad, her dad convinces her that Tara just has the power of Satan in her. Her sister cuts her off. Ultimately, the siblings who went to college and don't work for her dad believe her, but the siblings who are uneducated and have a stake in the essential oils business will have nothing to do with Tara. On the other hand, she became closer with her extended family now that she is no longer under the thumb of her parents. They never thought her parents were right, and were all too happy to see her. She said that to this day, she still goes to Idaho and reaches out to her mom before she goes. Her mom replies every time that since Tara will not see her dad she won't come meet Tara. Tara wants nothing to do with her dad, so that's that.

THOUGHTS

Wow, so many themes to dissect.

The first is the importance of education. Tara was lucky to get off the mountain, because her brain was just crying out for more. She didn't even realize it. But even though she wanted to go to college, she was so brainwashed by her parents. When she did a dance class, she thought all the other little girls were "little harlots" because they didn't cover their ankles and wore normal dance clothes. And the way she treated her first roommates shows that she thought there was a black and white to who was "righteous" and who was "wicked". The truth is so much more than that. People can wear tank tops and also go to church. And someone can go to church and still be an abusive person.

Sometimes the patriarchy in the Church can be problematic, if someone takes it to this extreme.  Yes, the men have the priesthood. But that does not make them "leaders" over women. Tara's family is an extreme example. However, they ultimately shun Tara for speaking out against her dad for covering up the abuse, and against Sean for being so horrible to her. Obviously Sean had some brain damage from his falls, but that does not excuse his behavior. Since she was willing to say it was wrong and not just take it, her dad tried to alienate her from the rest of her family. I was so relieved when "Richard", her brother that went on to get a doctorate from Purdue, believed her. At least she had ONE person on her side.

Third, the issue of religious fanaticism and paranoia in general. Her dad believed that he had the knowledge of when the end of the world would come, and that everyone else was just deluded. That is a very lonely existence for the children to just be thrust into. There are 2 winters in a row where the family is in an awful car accident on the drive back to Idaho from Arizona where they had been visiting grandparents. The dad insisted that they could drive all night, and both times they were all nearly killed. Especially since they didn't believe in seat belts. The mom got brain damage (I'm pretty sure) after the first one, because she had some major internal bleeding in the brain afterward. She had bruising under her eyes that lasted for MONTHS. You would think that would make her dad more willing to stop and think the next winter, but no. He not only made them leave in the night, but drove much faster than was safe. I have driven on the Idaho freeways in the winter at night, and it's no joke. I white knuckled at 15 MPH watching cars sliding off the road. But her dad said "We won't drive any faster than our guardian angels can fly". That is the remark of a crazy person. I believe in God and angels, but I don't think that He sends guardian angels to help people who are defying the laws of physics and safety.

This goes to show that people can rise out of their circumstances, with the desire to learn and the help of the right people who stick their necks out. Tara is obviously a very intelligent and curious woman (I can't believe she's only a few years older than me), and worked hard to make sure she got to where she needed to. And because she got an education, she was able to shake off the brainwashing of her childhood. She was also lucky to find such a great team of professors through all of her schooling.

This was eye opening and inspiring.

April 2020 Book Club book- "When Breath Becomes Air" by Paul Kalinithi

Wow. This book was just. WOW.

Brandon actually requested this book a while ago, so I was surprised when someone suggested it and we already had it on the shelves. It's the story of a man that is diagnosed with terminal lung cancer during his residency. He was working in neurosurgery, and was interested in the brain from a philosophical as well as medical perspective.

Paul was newly married when he was diagnosed, and they hadn't even begun to start a family when this diagnosis came. They knew he had a death sentence, so they weren't sure if they should have a baby. Ultimately they did, and it was hard to prepare for a new life coming into a family while preparing for the end of his own.

Paul learned a lot about life and death during his residency. His first death was a mother who had premature twins that died during the first night of their lives. He struggled to make sense of it, but it was not his only experience. As a neurosurgeon, your hands are the difference between someone recovering and being paralyzed or dying during surgery. Needing to tell a family that their family member died at your hands is a devastating event. One of the doctors he was in residency with committed suicide years later.

Paul ultimately died before finishing this book, which means his wife wrote the epilogue. I cried so much through that. His sweet baby was not even a year old when he died, and she seemed so sweet.

So, what would you do when you are faced with your own immortality? Would you feel like you had done enough? Paul seemed like he was on track to change the world. It seems so unfair that his life was cut so short!

If I knew I had a year left (or 2, he died 22 months after his diagnosis), I would just spend it all with my family. I would make sure I got to see every single person I loved, and as much as I'd like to say I'd want to travel I think I would just focus on the memories I'd make at home. Because my kids are young enough that I would want them to just remember me as I am at home. I'm grateful I have more than 2 years left, so when I think of this book it renews my desire to do better!

"Hillbilly Elegy" by J.D. Vance

I haven't written here in a LONG time, but this was such a good book I had to share it.

This also crosses off a book from the Modern Mrs. Darcy 2019 Reading Challenge- a book I have been meaning to read! I had this book recommended to me a few months ago and just found it again. I read it in about 3 days.

J.D. is a boy who grew up in Middletown Ohio, and spent his summers in Jackson Kentucky. He comes from a long line of proud hillbillies, and spends a good amount of time talking about what that was like. He had a variety of father figures in his life, and his mother was a drug addicted nurse. He grew up with a family history of taking electric saws to people's backs over a disagreement, or the time his grandma's brother made a boy eat a pair of her underwear at gunpoint after he made an inappropriate comment about her. Arguments regularly turned to blows, and defending your mother's honor meant beating the other man to a pulp. J.D. didn't know anything besides this. One of the men his mother married (for about 6 months) nearly took him away from Middletown and the comparative stability of living on the same street as his grandparents, and he fought that. His grandparents were the ones who helped him succeed in high school. He got into Ohio State but realized he didn't know the first thing about being an adult. So he joined the Marines. When he got back from the Marines he went to Ohio State and set his mind on Yale Law school. NOBODY from his town went to an Ivy League. So when he got in it was a big deal. He got married, and now lives a totally different life from the one he was dealt.

There are 2 huge points to take away from this. 1) With the right support system, you can achieve anything. 2) Don't let yourself be a victim of your circumstances.

About point 1: J.D. was born into a poor town that was not safe and had low education expectations. The college rate was low, and Ivy League was unheard of. His Papaw and Mamaw thought that they failed his mother, since she turned out to be a drug addict that begged her kids for clean urine so she could keep working to buy more drugs. They decided to be the best possible parents they could for their grandchildren. His grandmother told him he was not allowed to hang out with his old druggie friends. She made sure he didn't accept just barely passing for himself. He was going to work HARD and make something of himself! He has an older sister, who married someone that was not "like them". This meant that he didn't scream and throw things when they got into an argument. He treated J.D.'s sister well, and gave her a stable home.  Growing up in Appalachia is a different world from New Haven. He didn't know what sparkling water was. He didn't know how to network with the lawyers and law firms. But he found a support system at Yale that allowed him to navigate these new challenges, and now is a successful attorney. 

About point 2: J.D. was part of a world that is totally foreign to me. Hillbillies (which is what they proudly called themselves) were staunchly Democrat until about Nixon's time. Then within a generation they went from totally Democrat to totally Republican. Nobody quite knows why. But nowadays, only about 6% of the country trusts the media to be truthful. People always had an excuse. When a coworker of J.D.'s who had a pregnant girlfriend was fired, he blamed the manager. He didn't blame the fact that he was hours late to work, and took multiple half-hour long bathroom breaks every day. When another acquaintance was fired, he blamed "Obama's economy", not the fact that he didn't want to come into work anymore. If people want to find something besides themselves to blame for everything that goes wrong, they can. Their support system has let them down yet again. The government is making them out to be a victim. They were born without the ability to be successful. EVERYTHING is pushing them back! But until you accept that you CAN change something the world will seemingly always be against you.

I didn't even do this book a little bit of justice, but I recommend it to everyone.

Book 30- "In My Hands" by Irene Gut Opdyke

It was interesting to read this book right after the election. During a time when so many people are afraid for the future of the country, it is good to remember that America is still the greatest country in the world. I don't think it's a coincidence that the Founding Fathers set up the country to be run the way it is. Yes, the government has its moments of corruption. But that is NOTHING compared to what happened in Europe back then. Many of her descriptions made me physically ill, to think of the mass destruction of nearly an entire race of people. Just because of one man and his followers. Thanks to checks and balances, I'm pretty sure that we will never get to that point.

Irene was a nursing student in Poland when the war hit. I had no idea how devastated Poland was until reading this book. Everyone was trying to tear that country apart. She was a prisoner of war, and was held against her will as a nurse in a hospital. When she finally escaped she worked in a restaurant with a German man who sympathized with her wanting to help the Jews that lived nearby. While he never asked her about her plans, he let her use his facilities and money to save the lives of 10 people by hiding them away. She sent even more to the forest near their house, to keep them safe. At one point she was working for a high ranking official in the Army, and when he found out she had to become his mistress in order to keep them safe.

What an amazing woman. I wonder if I would be brave enough to do something similar. I can't even imagine the fear people had to live with at that time. I am so grateful for the time and place I was born in!

Book 50 of 2015- "In This Together" by Ann Romney

So remember how I said there were 2 types of autobiographies- those that made you think less of a person and those that made you think more? This was the second. She is a very interesting person. I enjoyed reading about her and Mitt's life just as parents of 5 boys. Yes, they are super rich and now famous because of running for president twice, but that doesn't excuse them from the trials that so many of us face. She has been dealing with Multiple Sclerosis since 1998, and a lot of the book was talking about her learning to accept this disease and how to manage the symptoms. She uses horseback riding as a therapy, and used it a lot when Mitt was running the Salt Lake City Olympic games.

I really respect Mitt Romney. He is an ethical man, and gave up his career at Bain to help our country in the Olympics. He even gave up his salary at the time to help them raise their money faster. He seems like a great man, a loving dad, and someone who would have been a great president.

I COMPLETED MY GOAL FOR THE YEAR! WOOOOOO! That's 50! I might read 1 or 2 more before the year ends, but I'm just excited that I did!

Book 48 of 2015- "Yes Please" by Amy Poehler

So I signed up to request this book in June (The same time as Tina Fey's "Bossypants")... and I was number NINETY FIVE on the list. I mean, seriously? So I FINALLY got this book a few weeks ago and couldn't wait to read it. Brandon and I watched "Parks and Recreation", her latest show, last year and I thought she was a hilarious character. She was also always a funny character when she would act on Saturday Night Live and in movies that I have seen her act in, so I wanted to read her book.

So, the way I described it to Brandon was that there are autobiographies that make you think more of the person, and autobiographies that make you think less of a person. This was not in the first category. I've just come to realize while reading these books just how broken these famous people are. I also have realized that the creative types of people that become actors usually are willing to do anything to become famous, including many many drugs. There's only so many times you can read that before you start skimming. But actors will always feel like they need to please someone, and will always do what it takes to stay relevant.

So, I was disappointed. I mean I loved watching her in other movies! But now I won't be able to see her the same way.

Book 46 of 2015- "The Midwife: A Memoir of Birth, Joy and Hard Times" by Jennifer Worth

My friend Jeni recommended this series (on BBC) to me when I was pregnant. I watched a few episodes, but I am too tender to pregnancy/childbirth/even nursing things to have watched too much. It was SO fascinating though... I may start watching it again.

As in the episodes that I watched, when reading these stories I was struck by how hard the lives of these people must have been. There were some stories in here that were very sad. Issues of prostitution, domestic violence, living in squalor, venereal diseases, and the inadequate healthcare that was around in the 50's. Of course, none of those things are exactly gone (besides the healthcare, mostly), but it is still amazing to think of what might have been if we had been born in a just slightly different time and a different country. We could have been the people living in the old tenements that were supposed to be torn down, with 25 children (that was one of her stories). Fortunately (for my heart's sake) there was only one story of the baby dying, and that was due to eclampsia that came on very suddenly. There was also a story of a baby who was given up for adoption without the mother's consent, because the mother had been working as a prostitute and had nowhere else to go. About 6 years later, she was arrested for kidnapping someone else's baby and went to jail for it. But I have to say the saddest story was about the local "mad" woman, who was always around when a baby was born. She was filthy and always lurking. They found out that a long time ago, she had 6 kids and a husband, but then the husband died of what sounded like tuberculosis. She wasn't able to support her family, and the baby ultimately died. She then took the other 5 children to a workhouse, which basically sounds like prison. All of her children's heads were shaved, and she was separated from them and never saw them again. They all died and were buried without her knowledge. It just tore me apart to think of that happening, and the fact that it just happened not that long ago is awful. Again, it just made me so grateful to have lived in the time that I do.

Jennifer was a 23 year old nurse who accidentally agreed to work with a convent full of nuns. She had no idea that was her job description, as she was not religious. But she got to know the nuns and loved them, especially Monica Joan. She was a 90 year old woman who was borderline senile, with flashes of mischievous and often brutal clarity. She drove many of the other nuns crazy, and even the nurses who worked there. But Jennifer realized that she loved all of them, with their funny quirks and all.

I love this style of book, which has many short stories in it. That makes it that much faster to read, and really enjoyable. I just can't imagine what life was like back then, it breaks my heart. Recently our cousins Tanner and Alyse had a baby that required surgery for colonic atresia, where she could not pass meconium due to her bowels not forming correctly in one spot. If she had been born back then, she would have ultimately died. It makes you SO grateful for the wonderful medicine we have nowadays, and for the wonderful doctors and medical staff at hospitals and medical centers everywhere!

Book 42 of 2015- "Yes, My Accent is Real" by Kunal Nayyar

So, this is an actor from "the Big Bang Theory". It's a pretty funny show, and he plays an astrophysicist in it. I saw he had a book coming out, so I reserved it at the library for the heck of it.

I guess that when he was in college, he didn't even know he wanted to act. He started in the business program, and then just started acting in plays for the heck of it. He also talks about the time he tried to kiss a Mormon girl (of course) and she freaked out because he is a Hindu. He also had a huge roommate from France, and worked as a janitor in college. And the thing that was most interesting to me was that he got his job on the Big Bang Theory on his first audition. He needed a job to get a different visa since his student visa was expiring. That's pretty much how it goes in Hollywood, right? 

I'm kind of excited to read more substantial things than actors' memoirs. As funny as they are (and I have more coming in the future), it's also fun to read things that excite the imagination.

Book 41 of 2015- "Why Not Me?" by Mindy Kaling

Yes, another Mindy Kaling book. This one just came out in September, so it is brand new. It's not even that she's that funny, I just enjoy reading her opinions on things. She isn't a "typical" Hollywood starlet, so she talks about trying to be comfortable in her own body while she spends time with the rich and famous. She also talked a lot about time on the Office set, and how much fun it was. AND she did answer the question of if she dated BJ Novak (Ryan from the Office). She didn't.

Overall, entertaining read but not one I would buy.

Book 40 of 2015- "Highest Duty: My Search for What Really Matters" by Captain Sullenberger

I remember the Miracle on the Hudson. We watched it on the news, as the people were rescued from standing on the wings of the plane. It was AMAZING to think that the captain knew exactly what to do, and within like 6 minutes of the birds hitting was able to safely land the plane and get the men and women off the airplane and that they were all rescued and survived.

Captain Sully is a remarkable man. He came from a humble background in Texas and had a love of flying his whole life. He got his pilot's license at the age of 16 and has been flying ever since. He spent years and years studying other people's experiences, including extensive learning about plane crashes and what went wrong. It is because of this that he knew what to do when his engines went out, and what not to do.

I'm not going to lie, reading this made me nervous to fly across the country with Cora again. You have your life in the pilot's hands. He said that he has been flying for nearly half of aviation's history. It is really amazing, and I hope he continues to succeed.

Book 35 of 2015- "My Story" by Elizabeth Smart

This was just gut wrenching to read. I could only read a little bit at a time, then take a break and play with Cora or watch a funny show or something because it is just HEAVY.

I remember when she was kidnapped. It was during a string of highly publicized kidnappings, including one in Orange County. All those little girls were found dead within a few weeks. So when Elizabeth was found alive 9 months later, it was amazing. I had always been morbidly curious about what had happened in that black hole of time that she was gone.

She was taken from her home in the middle of the night. That is terrifying. He knew he wanted to take her 7 months before he actually did, and he took advantage of her parents' kindness and willingness to help him get employment by working on their house. I wonder if they have forgiven themselves for that. She had to endure more than anyone should have to endure, all by a man who used his facade as a prophet to take advantage of her and try to brainwash her. Her description of Mitchell and Barzee are so creepy. She says that he can turn off and on his "prophetic" phases at the drop of a hat, which means he is a master manipulator. He knew what he was doing, and he wasn't insane. He was just a pedophile who used that as an excuse to "take a wife".

What is really amazing is that she kept her wits about her. She always thought of her family, and hoped that they thought of her. After a while she assumed that they thought she was dead and had moved on, but she never stopped hoping that they at least thought of her from time to time.

She never lost her faith in God. THAT is amazing. She had some amazing experiences where she felt God's love so strongly, and she knew that she would make it out of this experience alive. I think that it was this faith that inspired her to manipulate Mitchell to go back to Utah (I never knew they were in San Diego for 6 months?!), and to hitchhike. They had to keep her face uncovered, which is what I'm sure helped her be discovered.

I couldn't help but get teary during her description of her reunion with her family. I can't imagine the anxiety of her parents. While reading it, I made Brandon swear he wouldn't hire random people off the street to work on their house. Now that we have a daughter, I couldn't imagine hearing that she had been violated every day for 9 months, and was forced to do unspeakable things. She leaves a lot of gaps in things she had to see and do (for good reason!), and I don't even want to know what that could have meant.

Her strength since being rescued is amazing. She graduated high school and college, I think I remember hearing she wanted to go to law school, she served a mission in Paris, and got married. That man who married her has to be a saint. There must be some sort of baggage there after that sort of ordeal. She has created and runs a foundation to help children who are victims of abduction and child abuse. What is amazing is that she was able to sit in the courtroom and testify against Mitchell and Barzee. She didn't flinch in describing her trauma, and was able to help put them away. I'm glad they were sentenced to life in prison.

What is ALSO amazing is that she was able to get past everything without professional counseling. How is that possible? She clarifies that she does not think that is the path for everyone, but that she was able to get past it without counseling. She is really a stronger person than I could possibly imagine, and as she said in the book I believe that God will make that time of trial up to her in the long run.

Book 34 of 2015- "Is Everyone Hanging out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)" by Mindy Kaling

Yes, another female comedian's memoir. It was also pretty funny (but not as laugh-out-loud funny as Tina Fey's). I know who Mindy Kaling is from my favorite show of all time, the Office. She is the ditzy Kelly Kapoor, and has many funny one liners.
Mindy had a very normal childhood. She has always struggled with her weight, and was never a super popular girl at school. Overall, she was a very normal kind of person. She was recognized by show producers after she and her roommate made a 2 man play about Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. I also liked hearing about her time on the Office, and how she did have some diva moments as a writer (which is what you expect from Kelly Kapoor). I liked her candor about everything, and I will read her next book (whenever it gets here). 

Book 33 of 2015- "I am Malala" by Malala Yousafzai

So, I just discovered when I was almost done that I was reading the Young Reader's Edition. Hopefully that didn't affect the quality too much.

It is good to read a serious book amongst the fun ones. This was a very interesting look into what it was like in Pakistan just in the last 10 years. I can't believe that people actually live in fear like this. It's one thing to see on the news, but it is another to read from a first hand account. Just because a voice on the radio said so, a revolution started across the country. And not in a good way. I completely respect the Islamic culture of covering up (because we do something similar), but an extremist group saying that girls couldn't be out in public period? Too far.
Malala was raised by a dad who told her that she was capable of anything. That, coupled with a desire to continue her education and be the best, is what made her a strong leader for her fellow students. It is rare to hear about a man who wanted his daughter to get an education so badly. He even started a girls' school in Pakistan, when it was rare for girls to go to school past age 10 or 11.
All that she did was advocate for education amongst girls. There is nothing wrong with that, unless you are advocating for education against a group of extremists who have shown that they don't care who they target.
Seeing all the horrible sadness that has been happening in Syria and with their refugees while reading this book has made me think of how grateful I am to live in this country. Malala was a lucky one, and so was her family. They got out, and while it was because of an awful incident where a group of cowards targeted a girl, she has been making a recovery and the family has been unscathed otherwise. Many of the people in that part of the world have not been so lucky. The United States has been dealt a blessed hand, and even if this presidential election doesn't go well (ahem, Trump?), it would be prudent to remember that we have it so much better than much of the rest of the world.

Book 32 of 2015- "Bossypants" by Tina Fey

I've always thought Tina Fey was funny. Once I found out that she was the one who wrote "Mean Girls", I KNEW she was funny. Her memoir is basically just a bunch of random stories about her life, which culminates in her writing for SNL, being in charge of 30 Rock, and balancing all of that. And imitating Sarah Palin on TV. There were many parts that made me laugh out loud and say, "Brandon listen to this!" Unfortunately, it is much like a SNL skit- too many uncomfortable moments for me to want to keep on my bookshelf. Anything that swears that often is not buyable. But still, overall quite entertaining.

Book 18 of 2015- "It's Good to Be Alive" by Jack Rushton

This was a good book to read in a lot of short periods, because it is a series of observations Patriarch Rushton had from the vantage point of being a quadriplegic. I remember meeting him before, as he was somewhat of a celebrity in the church around Southern California. And he just seemed so normal.

I liked his optimism in life, and the fact that he admits that he struggled. But he still had his sense of humor, and his matter-of-fact way of stating things. He seemed like a great man who had his priorities straight, so that something as big as an accident like that didn't completely derail him.

Book 15 of 2015- "The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch

I read this book in one day. It was a pretty quick read! 

It is a series of small lectures that Randy Pausch, a professor at Carnegie Mellon, wrote as a way for his children to remember him by. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and only had a few months to live when he was asked to give a lecture.

The lectures themselves were not that groundbreaking. He talked about why he was the way he was, and his outlook on life. He talked about rules he lives by ("sometimes all you have to do is ask"), and things he remembers about each of his children and his wife. He talked about how he is preparing for their future without him, and the way he was raised.

When you read it like that, it could be seen as a boring book. But then I thought about how he was trying to leave a legacy for himself for his family to remember him by. It made me think of what I would want to leave behind if I were to pass away. (Not too soon!) I'm glad I have this blog so I can have Cora remember me as I am now, and not just as she will remember me starting in a few years.

Book 13 of 2015- "A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier" by Ishmael Beah

This was another quick read. However, it was completely gut wrenching. I couldn't believe the things that this boy soldier had to go through. It shows how people can become so depraved and desensitized that they can commit completely awful crimes in the name of whatever cause they believe in. 

This is the story of a boy who was caught in the middle of the Sierra Leone rebellion in the 90's. Ishmael was captured by the soldiers while he was running from the war. Along the way he discovered that his entire family had been burned alive in a house when the rebels fell upon it. He became addicted to the soldiers' drugs, and was willing to do whatever they asked in the name of revenge. By the end of the war, he was capable of burying people alive, killing them in gruesome manners, and not caring if he took out a village of civilians in the process. He was taken back by UNICEF and brought into rehabilitation, and ultimately found a long lost uncle. He ended up having to escape from Sierra Leone when the rebels took over the government, because some of his friends from the rehab center had already joined the army again and he needed to get out. He had a friend in New York, who ultimately adopted him.

I think the fact that he was able to escape that mindset is nothing short of miraculous. He had so many friends who couldn't find a way out, so they went back to the front lines. He doesn't know what happened to them.

I am sure that the people who recruit children to be soldiers and force them to commit such atrocities will have a special place for them after they die.