I have heard about this book for years. When I finally requested it on audiobook, the wait list was about 6 months long. I was so glad to finally get it! And HOLY COW it did not disappoint.
Tara was the youngest girl in a family of doomsday preppers. They went to an LDS church in Southeastern Idaho, but her dad was beyond fundamentalist. The first part of the book talked about the time that her dad read about the dangers of too much milk. He then took it upon himself to tell everyone in their ward that milk was bad for them and they shouldn't purchase any more dairy products. He even told this to a dairy farmer in their ward!
Throughout Tara's childhood, her dad became more paranoid. He began ranting about the Illuminati, and began cutting off his family from the outside world. When the Ruby Ridge siege happened, her dad went nuts. He began buying guns and ammunition by the crateful, and made his family prep food all summer to be ready for the winter. He even began making a bunker for the end of the world. He talked about how they would be ready for the Apocalypse, and wouldn't let the government get them like they had gotten the Weaver family.
They refused to send the children to public school, because the schools were brainwashing children into following the Illuminati. They also didn't take their children to see doctors or vaccinate them, because they thought that doctors were brainwashed into following the Illuminati. Some of Tara's older brothers go to college, and she decides that she wants to go. The only problem is that she doesn't even have a high school diploma. But she does well enough on the ACT to get accepted to BYU. When she first meets her roommates, she is shocked that they wear tank tops and pants with words across the butt. She is even more shocked when they talk about going to church in the morning. She doesn't understand things like hygiene (she doesn't wash her hands after going to the bathroom or shower often), washing dishes, or cleaning up after herself in general. She moves across campus after that first semester, and meets new roommates and tries to rebrand herself.
When she goes home, she has some awful encounters with her family. Her older brother, "Sean", is a horribly abusive person. He broke her wrist at one point. Since she is a girl, nobody will take her side over his. They think she needs to just be more submissive and listen to him, or it wouldn't happen. Every time she comes home, her brother and dad try to beat the "worldliness" out of her. There are also some accidents in the junk yard her dad owns. One brother is badly burned when his gasoline-soaked jeans catch on fire, Sean suffers multiple falls that should have killed him, and each time they call Tara back to tell her to say goodbye. But this family KEEPS PULLING THROUGH. How on Earth...
While at BYU, she begins thinking about graduate school. She has a great team of supportive professors, that help her get into Cambridge for a graduate program. Getting a passport proves to be difficult, but she does it. She also finally gets vaccinated. Meanwhile, her dad has a horrible accident where his face is burned beyond recognition. Even her mom thinks he should go to the hospital, but he says he would rather die than go. So she treats him with essential oils, and again he recovers. I mean, really. So they take this as a sign that the oils are better than medicine, and begin running a cult-like business out of their house.
Tara finally confronts her family about Sean's abuse. He is married at this point, and locks his wife out of their trailer with no shoes on in the ice and snow. (I know how cold that must have been, after living in Idaho for years.) His wife had a baby early, who ALSO miraculously survives. She should have been brought to the hospital, but Tara's mom convinces her not to go. He needs to be on oxygen for a long time. Initially, Tara's sister agrees with her. She says that Sean abused her as well. But when she talks to her dad, her dad convinces her that Tara just has the power of Satan in her. Her sister cuts her off. Ultimately, the siblings who went to college and don't work for her dad believe her, but the siblings who are uneducated and have a stake in the essential oils business will have nothing to do with Tara. On the other hand, she became closer with her extended family now that she is no longer under the thumb of her parents. They never thought her parents were right, and were all too happy to see her. She said that to this day, she still goes to Idaho and reaches out to her mom before she goes. Her mom replies every time that since Tara will not see her dad she won't come meet Tara. Tara wants nothing to do with her dad, so that's that.
THOUGHTS
Wow, so many themes to dissect.
The first is the importance of education. Tara was lucky to get off the mountain, because her brain was just crying out for more. She didn't even realize it. But even though she wanted to go to college, she was so brainwashed by her parents. When she did a dance class, she thought all the other little girls were "little harlots" because they didn't cover their ankles and wore normal dance clothes. And the way she treated her first roommates shows that she thought there was a black and white to who was "righteous" and who was "wicked". The truth is so much more than that. People can wear tank tops and also go to church. And someone can go to church and still be an abusive person.
Sometimes the patriarchy in the Church can be problematic, if someone takes it to this extreme. Yes, the men have the priesthood. But that does not make them "leaders" over women. Tara's family is an extreme example. However, they ultimately shun Tara for speaking out against her dad for covering up the abuse, and against Sean for being so horrible to her. Obviously Sean had some brain damage from his falls, but that does not excuse his behavior. Since she was willing to say it was wrong and not just take it, her dad tried to alienate her from the rest of her family. I was so relieved when "Richard", her brother that went on to get a doctorate from Purdue, believed her. At least she had ONE person on her side.
Third, the issue of religious fanaticism and paranoia in general. Her dad believed that he had the knowledge of when the end of the world would come, and that everyone else was just deluded. That is a very lonely existence for the children to just be thrust into. There are 2 winters in a row where the family is in an awful car accident on the drive back to Idaho from Arizona where they had been visiting grandparents. The dad insisted that they could drive all night, and both times they were all nearly killed. Especially since they didn't believe in seat belts. The mom got brain damage (I'm pretty sure) after the first one, because she had some major internal bleeding in the brain afterward. She had bruising under her eyes that lasted for MONTHS. You would think that would make her dad more willing to stop and think the next winter, but no. He not only made them leave in the night, but drove much faster than was safe. I have driven on the Idaho freeways in the winter at night, and it's no joke. I white knuckled at 15 MPH watching cars sliding off the road. But her dad said "We won't drive any faster than our guardian angels can fly". That is the remark of a crazy person. I believe in God and angels, but I don't think that He sends guardian angels to help people who are defying the laws of physics and safety.
This goes to show that people can rise out of their circumstances, with the desire to learn and the help of the right people who stick their necks out. Tara is obviously a very intelligent and curious woman (I can't believe she's only a few years older than me), and worked hard to make sure she got to where she needed to. And because she got an education, she was able to shake off the brainwashing of her childhood. She was also lucky to find such a great team of professors through all of her schooling.
This was eye opening and inspiring.
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